The Equinox Dance

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The autumn equinox is approaching, that time of year when day and night, are equal in length. Days were longest at summer solstice and have since become shorter. After equinox, the nights get longer until winter solstice, the longest night of the year. And so the wheel of the seasons turns.
When we attune to nature in general and the seasons in particular, nature can be seen to be a metaphor for our own being. “As above, so below” was the Hermetic description of the macrocosm (nature and the universe) reflecting in the microcosm (us). 
So as I welcome the Equinox I observe the opposites dancing in my life and my brain. It is not night and day dancing in my microcosm but rather the figures from two tarot cards: the Fool and the Juggler (in some decks called the magus or the magician).
No I don’t usually have tarot cards dancing across my mindscape (although I did years ago when studying tarot and Qabalah). I recently came through my second Saturn return and have noticed I seem to need a lot of rest and don’t know what I want.


Meandering across the internet, I was reassured by accounts of others disoriented by their second Saturn return. One poem about it  advised that we can now “play the Fool” and go ahead and be eccentric.

That stirred memories. Back when I was doing calligraphic Qabalistic collages I depicted the Fool from the song Fool on the Hillas a sort of Buddhistic figure that had characteristics of the tarot card Fool. That tarot card is frequently interpreted as representing a new start in life. To me the Fool has always represented the freedom of innocence and simplicity. Like a child, the Fool is just setting out and has not yet acquired the scars and shaping of Life.
The Juggler on the other hand, is tied to his task of keeping those balls moving. There is no freedom there. I have often thought of the Juggler when juggling my various responsibilities and obligations, trying to keep to schedule and get everything done.
So here is my microcosm. I need to decide what kind of life/work balance I want in future. I am currently on medical leave so the choices are equal, (as day and night are at Equinox), there is no particular pressure one way or the other. In this context I see the Juggler as representing my past work life with databases, computers, schedules, always being caught up in symbols and in my head. In contrast, I see the Fool as the simplicity of working from home, being close to my animals, garden and the nature I live in even while working. That simplicity — i.e. no clutter of symbols — allows the visceral awareness of Life and openness to Guidance from Self.  
The tarot trumps correspond to paths on the Qabalistic Tree of Life. The paths connect different sephiroth or “worlds” in a sort of qualitative algebra. Both the Fool and the Juggler are on paths emanating from Kether, “prime mover” the world of pure being.  But the Juggler is heading down the path to Binah, “understanding”, the world of form corresponding to Saturn.
 The Fool is on the path to Chokmah, “wisdom”, corresponding to Uranus or the ring of the zodiac. To me, these paths just emphasize the restrictions on the Juggler and the freedom of the Fool.
 I have a feeling the Fool is going to be dancing more in my life than the Juggler will be. Looking at my choices in this larger context has clarified what I want.
I hope this Equinox clarifies your microcosm too.

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